Monday, November 6, 2017


The thoughts that come true are usually the quiet ones that stand just behind your right ear and say, "It won't be this way in six months, just wait."
There was this guy I used to know that didn't believe me when I said yellow was my favorite color. Reason he didn't believe me? He never saw me wearing it. Que the hasty purchase of a yellow bandana and people asking if I'm wearing it for religious reasons (as if they're about to hit me with that law is dead/grace abounds mess and "set me free"). I carry bravado with me into new situations and around new people. If you tell me I won't do something, I immediately will, while staring you in the eye. My name means Rebellious. It just comes with the territory. It also means Sea of Bitterness, Lady of the Sea, and Wished-for Child: all relevant without previous knowledge (#prophecy).

Even though I've thought and said yellow is my favorite, six months on, I mostly reach for blue - blue clothes, blue jewellry, blue paint, blue glass, blue albums. Blue is my favorite favorite color.

The First Thing (name pending) will be based around my experiences getting to know The Man who Lived Across From Me and everything involved in getting back up afterward. It's like a catch-all drawer, a summary of what happened, with full disclosure of every way I royally messed up. While I've tried not to write about it too much (so as not to indulge bitterness or self-pity), it does come back - for inspiration, for storytelling, for relevance sake. On one hand, that experience gave me tons of artistic fodder and I've been able to run with it; on the other hand, it all could've been avoided if I'd listened to the Still Small Voice instead of all the loud ones. "It won't be this way in six months, just wait."

On the other other hand, I've been accelerated in ways I never have been before: in music, in practical application of music and Scripture, in "adulting", all of it. And over and over, I keep running into the sentiment, "This is where the rubber meets the road (#nextalbum)."

It won't be this way in six months, just wait.

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