Where Do You Run T0

Sunday, January 28, 2018

O' This Graceless Machine

Sometimes, the Bible reads you, but you don't figure that out til the very end of the day. After-sight is 20/20.

Or just 21.

Proverbs 27 | January 27
Themes of the Day
5 Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed.
6 Wounds made by a friend are intended to help, but an enemy’s kisses are too much to bear.
9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
12 A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself; The simple pass on and are punished.
17 As iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion].
21 The crucible [tests] silver, and the furnace [tests] gold, but a person [is tested] by [his reaction to] praise.

My iron

One time back at Bible school, I slipped on some old pine needles while pretending to do parkour with my friends. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to put out my arms, and my face slammed with a skull-reverberating thud! on the sidewalk, the rest of me somehow in the grass. As my friends helped me to my feet -- asking if I was okay and how many fingers they were holding up -- I could only whisper that I was fine, because if I'd used my voice, it would've broke, and I would've started crying -- that's how much the sound of my skull bouncing off the pavement scared me.

The damage wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded, and I spent the next few days with a tender cheekbone, and a lovely bruise contour. I did eventually end up crying a little bit in the birthday card isle of an incredibly small Walmart, clinging to a friend of mine after the others had gone.

"You're having a delayed reaction, it's okay," she said as my tears stained her jacket.

That's kind of become a theme in my life, honestly. When the sacred, the truly intimate, gets eclipsed by my insecurities --my nearly inexplicable desire for it to be understood that I understand, my bravado, the MRYM I project with a boldness that I don't truly feel beneath my skin -- and the mask slips -- when they see the places that aren't 21 years old in me and I fall on my face, it hurts and the sound is deafening.

And that is how Graceless Machine was born tonight.

Close enough to kick. ;)

Thank you.

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